However, that doesn't mean we're shy or misanthropes, merely, we just prefer to keep to ourselves because socialising is both mentally and physically draining; and it is largely in part to this "introversion" of ours that we seem to fall prey to several guilt-ridden things; seven guilt-ridden things to be exact.
1 | (Un)intentionally Tuning out of Unstimulating Conversations
I'm astounded by my more extroverted friends who, to save a dying conversation (not with me, of course), are able to do whatever they can to revive it; I, on the other hand, make no effort to do so. Instead, I allow the conversation to drift to insipid awkwardness, rather enjoying the sweet sound of silence.
Similarly, whenever I've seemed to have caught myself in the middle of an unstimulating conversation (the gossipy or subjects I don't care for kind), I find myself nodding and excessively laughing at nothing, just to fill the space. It sounds quite rude, but hey, I don't care for things I'm not interested in; I guess that goes for everyone but I just don't try enough to hide it.
2 | Building Your Own Great Wall of China to Shield Yourself from the World
This isn't your ordinary brick wall you see that's graffitied with some eclectic depiction of Trump making out with another man; no, this wall is as tall as the Burj Khalifa and as heavily guarded as the Bank of England. That being said, it's difficult for people you meet to get to know you, especially when you don't have the safety net of having a friend with you.
Given that we're severe internal processors who much prefer to spend time within our own heads than we do with reality, this often comes off as being indifferent, unappreciative or perhaps even rude. It also makes us seem boring because we can't think of much to say or it makes us look "socially awkward" and shy. When really, we do want to make friends (only sometimes and if it's with the right kind of people) but it's just going to take some time. I hate to quote it but Shrek really speaks the truth (yes, you know what quote I'm talking about).
3 | Purposely Ignoring Phone Calls
I kind of hate how guilty I am of this but then again, I'm not sorry. I prefer to text or message someone if they're in a rut, hell, I'd rather just meet up with them and speak face-to-face if need be. Just. Don't. Call. Me. Unless it's an actual emergency because I don't want to turn into an unintelligible mess, thank you very much. I would also prefer it if I don't feel like I'm tachycardic.
But I hate the awkward silences, I hate having to think of something interesting to say on the spot and I hate having to fake a couple of coughs every now and then, pretending I'm "sick", just so that I can fill the excruciating void. Everything just sounds so much better in my head.
I also like to process my thoughts; I need to heavily think about what I'm going to say and talking over the phone doesn't necessarily allow you the time to do that. But hey, despite being the bane of my existence, in order to "adult", you have to be able to pull yourself to answer that call and not let it watch as it goes to voicemail.
4 | Mastering the Art of Overthinking
You rehearse everything that you want to say in your head. You think it, re-think it, and you think about it some more. You finally decide that it's fine and you're good to go but then when you actually say it, you just want to pack up and get the heck out of there, contemplating the idea of becoming a nomad whilst you do so.
In all seriousness, though, overthinking what someone has said to you, done to you or whatever the context may be, is exhausting. It's exhausting but you can't help it. You can't help getting lost in the myriad of possibilities that could have occurred had you chosen to say this instead of that; had you decided to wait just one more second before talking or if you should have chuckled instead of roared with laughter. You come up with highly detailed, vivid scenarios not just of what could have been, but of scenarios that will, hopefully, come to be. You're as much of a visionary as you are an overthinker, which remember, is both a blessing and a curse.
5 | Going Home Early Because You're "Tired" or "Have Things to do Tomorrow"
Honestly, it's exhausting having to dress up, put my make-up on, find a way to get to my destination, mingle, pretend I'm this, pretend I'm that; it really is. It's emotionally and physically draining if I even spend so much as two hours out and about socialising. That's not to say I can live without talking to people, no, I don't want to be completely isolated from the world. I can't. However, I much prefer nights in when I'm snuggling a pillow, watching a good movie with delicious food (and wine) that's within my reach.
And besides, I don't think a lot of people understand that one hour of socialisation to me translates to around three hours of time I need to spend alone in order to recuperate and "recharge my batteries". I can see now where the "misanthrope" argument may inject itself into conversation, but just be mindful of the fact that introverts do not gather their energy from social activities and it's not because we hate you, so it's nothing personal, it simply (or not simply) comes down to how we're wired to be.
6 | Saying "No" One Too Many Times
This ties in with #5 but we introverts are pretty much notorious for declining plans. I'm surprised that people even bother to keep asking me to come along with them, but hey, again, it's not because I hate you, it's because I'm genuinely not interested or I'm just genuinely busy.
If you're that person standing in the corner shouting, "You're missing out!" or "You'll regret it!" or whatever, please, shhhh. I don't have to say yes to everything, I don't need to "try something for the first time". You march to the beat of your own drum, and I'll march to mine and I don't need to justify that to anyone. That's not to say that I don't step outside of my comfort zone every now and then, because I do, but I really dislike spontaneity. (N/A: who here has rejoiced upon the sudden cancellation of their plans? *raises hand*)
7 | Downplaying Basically Everything You Say
I can't tell whether this is something you should be "guilty" of doing, but I do find myself to pretend I don't know something about someone in fear of freaking them the heck out and by that I mean, I'm one to remember almost every single detail about someone; their idiosyncrasies, mannerisms, things they've said in passing three years ago, everything.
If I see a stranger once, I could probably recognise them the next time I see them walking the streets; hell, I can still recall the names of everyone I went to high school with, including what house they belonged to. I remember the minute details, the things people don't care about or the things that don't get spoken of ever again. Hopefully my fellow introverts can empathise with me on this one (though it is sort of a stereotype to even assume that any of these points I've made thus far are characteristic of introversion).
So, I downplay what I say sometimes. I pretend I don't know something when in fact, I do. That's not to say I downplay my intelligence, though. I'll be willing to talk about the complexities of the brain but only if you're willing to listen!
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Happily watching a TV show that I started in the comfort of my own room,
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